Even the most dedicated parents in the education of their children sometimes make smaller or bigger disciplinary mistakes. Many of these errors often go unnoticed by adults, which means that they can be repeated over time, at the expense of the harmonious growth of the little one. Learn to identify in a timely manner the things you do wrong in disciplining your child, with the help of the below expert advice. The best parents are the ones who assume their weaknesses and make constant efforts to correct them.
Come into their club and see where you could go wrong in disciplining your little one, but also how to remedy your behavior for your own good and his!
You violate your own rules
A mistake made by most parents is the lack of consistency in imposing rules of conduct and their compliance to the end. In other words, if you tell your child that he / she is not allowed to watch cartoons until his / her order is in the room, but eventually you give up and leave it on the TV without respecting the initially imposed condition, you can create confusion in his mind.
When you do not respect your word, your child will consider that you should not take yourself seriously every time. Equally important is that the penalties you appeal to are applicable, not exaggerations of the type "Santa doesn't come to you this year."
Do not adapt the punishment to the age of the child
Before choosing a disciplinary measure, consider the age of your child. Strategies that work at the age of two are completely ineffective at five, for example. In the case of young children, their safety should be your primary concern. If your little one year old wants to put a handle on the stove, tell him a "no" decision and point him to a toy. Praise positive behaviors and ignore negative ones.
For preschoolers, consistency is the best solution in children's education. Make sure the rules you impose are clear and come to be respected every time. A 4-5 year old will need to explain in detail why it is good to behave in a certain way and what are the consequences of his misconduct from correct behavior.
Once you enter the school, the imposition of rules is no longer sufficient. Now comes the need to let the little one choose, express his point of view and find with you the best solutions for the problems you face.
You turn your father into a negative character
Many mothers threaten their children with the phrase "Wait for dad to come home, see what you suffer!". This is a big mistake, say the specialists, from two points of view: the parent who plays in the positive character is interpreted by the child as being unable to take disciplinary measures without help, and the relationship of the child with the parent in a negative light has to suffer. .
A more correct warning would be: "When dad comes home, we will discuss together what happened and establish the punishment you deserve." It is important for the child to see his parents on an equal footing.
Give orders aggressively
Parents who get used to shouting at children for various orders, in order to get them to behave as they should, often get the opposite result. A child who screams will resist resistance, as a natural reflex of self-defense.
In this case, it is best to treat your child gently and ask him or her if it is not appropriate to proceed in a certain way. The little one will be relaxed and eager to choose the right option, knowing that this will arouse a positive reaction. A cooperative relationship in the disciplinary process ensures you maximum chances of success in educating your child, say the specialists.
Numbers up to three when you press your child to do something
You see it in the movies, it happens in real life too: a slightly irritated mother whose child does not want to do a certain thing and, as a threat, counts up to three as the deadline for executing the "order".
Although at first glance it seems that the strategy works, in fact it allows the child to take a reason to think about whether or not he should do to the parent. A correct approach is to look your child in the eye and tell him clearly what you want to do. You can make the request like this: "Either you stop throwing sand at other children, or we leave the playground now."
You use too much punishment for the "shame corner"
A punishment recommended by experts in disciplining children is to send the little one in a corner, alone, to calm down and think about the mistakes made. But the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents not to abuse this punitive method, but to appeal to it only when it is truly justified.
At the same time, the time when the child is isolated must be adapted to his age: the general rule indicates one minute for each year of the little one. Also, children with a strong personality may not respond positively to this punishment, which turns into a fight of pride with parents.
You make too general observations
Comments of the type "Don't be bad!" are negative examples of disciplining a child, experts say. While the parent thinks he or she has clearly conveyed his message, the child will not know exactly what the objection of the adult apostrophe is.
That's why experts urge you to send as specific messages as "Don't stop people when they talk, it's a disrespect." In this way, the child will know exactly what behavior he or she needs to change.
Do not explain to the child why it is wrong
It is very simple to track down your child and tell them "cease", "shut up" or "you are not allowed". These observations have no educational value, experts say, just discouraging. The child does not understand why it is the wrong thing and how it should behave. This is why it is important to immediately give the little one the arguments that a conduct is forbidden, but also to direct it to the right behavior in a certain situation.
What kind of discipline mistakes have you noticed in other parents? What do you think you should do to improve the way you educate your child? Tell us your opinion in the comments section below!
Tags Disciplinary errors for children