Being a parent is the hardest task in the world but at the same time the dearest. To make the first few months spent with your baby, an efficient and enjoyable time, follow this guide and try to avoid these ten classic mistakes:
1. Believe everything you are told
In the first weeks of your baby's life you will begin to seek advice from all the friends who have gone through this experience. Even if you will not do this they will give you directions anyway. Some tell you that it is good to sleep with the child in the same room, the best friend is against this. Your sister-in-law says that it is normal for the baby to suck on her finger and your pediatrician says it is best not to let it.
"The only opinion that matters is your opinion," says Alivin Rosenfeld, a psychiatrist and author of the book "Hyper-Parenting". "If you listen to the advice of those around you it means you give up the truly creative side of the parenting role." It is true that friends and relatives can give you tested information but remember that your intuition is the best guide. "You know more than you think!”
2. To overestimate free time
Even if you will be free from work for weeks, months or years, do not be fooled into believing that staying home with your baby is a vacation. In fact, you will start another service with a much more noisy boss and with higher demands, which will not give you free even at the end of the week. "It's not your old life plus a child," says Ana Speke, the mother of two children; "it is a completely different and new life."
Your plans to do things you couldn't when you were at work (meeting old friends, preparing meals every night) may not coincide with your baby's schedule. It is best to make a realistic list each day of the things you would like to do one day, and in the end you will be satisfied if you succeed in completing one of the tasks you set yourself.
3. Neglect your husband
After a day of breastfeeding and changing diapers you may be nervous with your husband when he returns from work, this is a perfectly normal reaction.
"There is nothing abnormal about having small problems at home and feeling very stressed when you have babies in the family," says psychologist John Friel. "It is a great challenge for any couple to move from a worry-free period to a time when care for the new family income is added"
But you have to make marriage a priority. If you can afford it, you can hire a babysitter and set a day a week when you spend more time together, just the two of you. You can talk about the baby but you can talk about other things. "Focus on each aspect of the marriage and make it a habit."
4. Put you in the last place
You have to make time for yourself, this is a necessity, not an indulgence. Try to find time to talk to friends over the phone or go to Yoga classes. You need relaxation because otherwise you will run out of energy resources and good mood. Elizabeth Silk, a physiotherapist working with young mothers, says: "The happier you are, the better a parent"
5. Do not share tasks
You may be able to change diapers much faster than your husband or bathe him more confidently, but your husband must start dealing with the baby. Taking care of a small child is a task far too difficult for a single person. Share the tasks with your husband.
When your husband is helping you with the child, do not start criticizing him or giving him instructions all the time. A mother always says, "be careful not to be cold!" Or "don't play so long with him after eating!", "Don't keep him in his arms all the time!", "You give him too much to eat! ”and so before you realize it you will end up changing your husband into a nanny.
6. Put the evil in front
Some babies have major health problems but even a perfectly healthy baby can have different symptoms that worry parents. Try not to panic though!
It is normal to be worried, because you have never had such a responsibility before, but raising children must be a positive experience. If you can learn to be relaxed when the baby is a baby, you may not be scared when you notice unusual things in your child, such as when he wants to eat only certain foods.
7. Don't rest
Psychologist James Maas, author of the book "The Power of Sleep," says that parents, who have a baby, lose on average between 400-750 hours of sleep in their child's first year.
It is advisable to try to spend a little time every day, or try to sleep a little longer on the weekend. If you do not rest normally it is very difficult to enjoy what should be the happiest period of your life. It is true that you have to sacrifice other things that you could have done instead of sleeping, but sometimes it is more important to rest than to wash the dishes.
8. Compare your baby with other parents
Does the baby sleep at night? Are you trying to stand up? Smile? Don't let other parents cause you to believe that your baby is growing slower than theirs.
Babies grow in their time and as long as they develop in normal parameters do not worry.
9. To spend a lot of money
"Everyone tells you that your baby will change your life completely, but nobody tells you how much money and money in your wallet changes," says Alan Fields, author of the book "Baby Bargains."
Parents tend to initially buy as much for the baby, even things that are not needed. It is best to take a shopping parent with you more experienced than you, someone who knows exactly what you need. Do not buy many clothes, babies grow very fast and in a short time can not wear them, do not exaggerate with toys, most babies have a favorite toy with which they always play and ignore the rest.
10. Do not immortalize the moment
In each stage of development of your child you will think that you will never forget these moments but you will still forget them. Life goes on and the hours, days and months will start to fade and suddenly the childhood has passed. "When my baby was just born, a friend of mine, the mother of a 2-year-old girl, visited me and looked at my child and told me that she can no longer remember the time when her little girl was just as young. small. I couldn't believe it. Now my son is 2 years old and I can't remember very clear why. I'm caught up in other things she does now! ”Says Marion Paterson, the mother of three children.
There are many possibilities to immortalize the stages of your child's development. You can keep a journal, take as many pictures as you can, record simple things you want to remember on the box as the years go by. We forget a lot over time but reciting these recordings will relive all those special feelings and moments. It is never too late to start a journal.