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When do we start to resort to punishments and rewards?

When do we start to resort to punishments and rewards?


Let us not forget that from birth the children adapt to the environment, so they must constantly learn. The baby is not just a creature that is limited to sleep and food. Newborns and very young children are sophisticated beings, they have certain abilities: they see, they smell, they hear the sounds, they smell smells, aromas, and according to all these they are able to distinguish, even have preferences. Surad when they feel good or when they see certain people, or cry when they need something, etc. Therefore, they are receptive to all the gestures of the mother, of those around her, being capable of social responses.
But, in order for the baby's care to have good results, they must be performed at a certain pace, according to a certain program, which exactly matches his needs. The regularity and rhythmicity of care correspond to a necessity of the body, which is why the newborn quickly becomes accustomed to this order, which is somehow the first educational action. For example, the newborn receives 6-7 meals in 24 hours, at an interval of 3-3.5 hours, and sleeps almost all the time between meals. Later, sleep takes less time, meals are rarer, the child stays awake more and more. during the waking period it is played, it is taken for a walk, etc.
Therefore we can talk about rules since the baby is a baby. However, in the first years (up to the age of 3 years) the child is not able to raise awareness of the content of these rules, but only to adapt to them, transforming them into habits, integrating them into his life regime. around the age of 2 years - especially, the rules become paramount in the life of the little one. It is the period when the child already knows how to move and may encounter many dangers, which is why parents must start disciplining him. At this stage, in families with children, probably the most used word is "no". But, discipline, regardless of age, must be approached as a learning process both by the methods used and by the attitude with which they are implemented.
After 3 years of age, with the advent and development of causal thinking, the child begins to become aware of the limits (not only as some restrictions, as he perceived them until this age) because he begins to understand them. He is already able to identify the consequences of his actions and from this moment on, the role of parents is to encourage communication with the child to help them eliminate negative behaviors and assimilate positive ones.

As long as the parents satisfy the child's every whim, they do not set any rules, let him do only what he wants, creates a great service. It does not help him develop his sense of responsibility, self-control, and above all, his ability to resist frustration. All they can do is create the image of an uneducated, angry child who does not respect anyone and nothing - in fact, an unadapted child.
Diana Paula Stoian,
Specialist in Child Psychology
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