How to tell the child NOT constructively: 5 useful tips
How many times have you not heard parents saying NO full sentences when addressing children? Don't put your hand in there, don't move from here, you're not allowed to do that.
While saying "YES" to small adventures from which children can learn precious things is beneficial to the education process, classmates also need to set certain limits when appropriate. But how you set these limits makes the difference between an obedient child and one determined to do forbidden things.
Even if it seems hard to believe, children need rules and limits to know themselves and understand what it means to behave properly. The helpful tips below help you to use the big "NO" constructively, without depriving the child of autonomy and freedom of expression.
Accompany the NO with an explanation
When your child wants to drink from the glass as his dad and not from his special cup, it is natural to want to prohibit this, since it can hurt if the dishes are broken.
The same thing happens when the child is curious to touch something dangerous or to take in a very hard object in his arms: it is important to convey the idea that it is not good to show his curiosity, but not anyway, but explaining why should listen to you.
In the concrete example of the glass from the glass, you can let him hold it in his hand, saying, "Look, do you see that it's harder than your mug? If you accidentally drop it, it will break into thousands of chunks and hurt you Let's avoid this danger! " The child will understand why you say NO and will learn that certain objects can be dangerous when handling them.
Complete the NO with better alternatives
Stimulating the child's autonomy, so important for the formation of your personality, can also be achieved by offering alternatives from which he can choose, when his wish cannot be fulfilled.
Specifically, when you are in the supermarket and you are asked to buy a chocolate, explain that it is important to have lunch at home first and then receive dessert.
The child will probably insist on receiving chocolate at that time, in which case you will answer: "You cannot eat chocolate now, if you do not resist going home, you can eat an apple or a peach. What do you choose?" "
The prohibition on eating chocolate is accompanied by an explanation, but also by giving the child the possibility to express his will in the given situation.
Say NO especially to negative influences
The child will always be a victim in the face of negative influences, because he does not have the ability to filter certain information and fully understand what a particular need or desire feels.
This is why it is good to protect your little one from certain disappointments. For example, he can watch on television a lot of ads for toys and clothes on TV stations for children and then ask you to buy them. Try to avoid these TV channels as much as possible by buying DVDs with animated productions suitable for him.
Another efficient strategy is to give him a small allowance, from which he can satisfy his little wishes, while also raising awareness of the value of money. Seeing that from his money he will be able to buy a limited number of things, he will understand better why he has to be bought. And you will successfully bypass the heated discussions from the toy district!
Explain why you should NOT violate the rules of good behavior
Setting boundaries in relation to certain behaviors is equally important. The child must understand why it is not acceptable to brush or bite other children when he is greedy for attention or wants to get something.
It is never enough to justify him and tell him that he was "bad" for pushing a kindergarten colleague, threatening him to stop this behavior sooner, otherwise ... It is essential to give him the idea that he must always communicate and negotiate in a social group, such as: "Can I play with your robot? I can give you my truck instead!".
Say NO otherwise
Some children may become refractory when they hear "NO" constantly. Try to convey the idea without resorting to negation, through phrases such as "We will do this another time" or "But what would it be like to try something else?". Your child will learn, through these gentle limits, how the world in which he lives and how he can relate to it works.
How do you tell your child not to do certain things? Tell us what interesting tricks you have discovered to make him react desirably when he is denied something!
Tags Autonomy in children Independent child