Short

What does breast cancer mean to a partner?

What does breast cancer mean to a partner?


Of all the medical terms, "cancer" is the most frightening. The awful moments women go through when they find out they have breast cancer are hard to bear, but no one wonders what the partner is going through at those times, as it is normal for all the attention to focus on the patient. The husband must be with her, although it is equally difficult for her to accept what is happening.
Both the reaction of the woman who hears the sad news and the partner are decisive, because, from that moment, their life is completely changed. The woman has to decide whether she will fight the disease, and for the partner it is a crossroads in which she demonstrates how much love is for her. He must decide if he will stay with them in the extremely difficult times that follow.
Husband, guardian angel
Teresa had been married for only a few days, when she found out she had breast cancer: "My husband was my guardian angel, he behaved very well. When I found out I had a knot in my throat, I couldn't even talk. He told me that we would fight together. He stayed with me in Cluj for the operation for three weeks. He was sleeping in the monastery in the hospital yard. This was a honeymoon. I thought it would be better to have the news before the marriage, not to give him life over his head. But when I saw him in the morning, I saw God. The doctor explained that I had to get my whole breast, and my husband supported me, telling me that we would succeed. that we will go beyond these moments. "
Partner support, essential
For Monica, the news of breast cancer came after she had already had a hard time. He had just come out of a bad divorce, had remained unemployed and had a child to raise: "I was destroyed and destroyed, I called Mugur, the man I live with and I told him. Then I felt closer. to me like never. He was silent, he smoked a cigarette and told me that everything would be fine. He couldn't help but cry out. I didn't let him see the operation because I didn't want to get repelled. " .
After both breasts were removed, Liliana had another bad news: mastosis. "My husband complimented me, told me that I was beautiful. It is normal to ask yourself if the couple does not appear in repulsion or simply pity. But he always repeats that I am perfect, although I was frustrated in myself. Then he told me about a foundation that helps women who have breastfeeding and that I was scheduled for them. Breast reconstruction has restored my life to normal. "
The shock removes some men
Not all women are as lucky. the shock is very high and not all men react favorably. There are not many women who have had replies such as "I thought you were healthy when I got married with you!" or "What am I going to tell my friends?"
This is also the case of Marta: "In real-world situations, real people are sifting. Until I was 35, I could not establish a family. I had a friend, but later I had to realize that he did not love me enough and he did not love me. considered a priority in his life, preferring to spend his life with another healthy person. I was trying to find in him the person who would be next to me, for good and for bad, but for a year he didn't give me a phone call. Before the breast reconstruction operation, he happened to call me to invite me to the movie. I went and told him everything. I hoped that, because of my sincerity, I would find a friend in him. true, but it wasn't. "
(Florin Pupaza)
Read the continuation in the Truth
October 10, 2006