When you have a child with ADHD, you turn your attention, involuntarily, all your attention to him, neglecting the other children. Even if the sick child needs more care, it is important not to let things get out of control and to focus on the needs of other siblings, as they may have to suffer from such a situation! It is important to know how other children in the family may be affected by the idea of having a care-deficit brother in order to effectively control the situation.
Brothers of children with ADHD: how do they suffer?
Being the parent of a child with ADHD is not easy at all. It is a huge challenge, which can put you off the hook and predispose you to important mistakes in your relationship with your other children. According to the specialists, the main mistake parents make is that they tend to focus their entire attention on the sick child, ignoring the needs of other children.
Even if the situation requires it and the child with attention deficit needs more attention, the other siblings may feel disadvantaged and even jealous of their brother, not understanding that he is ill. They will only think that he is more loved, spoiled and appreciated by his parents.
The child's unusual behavior with ADHD can make it difficult to build a close relationship with his or her siblings. The other children may feel left out and unwanted around him, because he does not respond to their requests like other children. They can't play the same, they can't communicate very coherently and they have problems socializing with him. These things could remove the brothers from him, or they might have feelings of dislike or rivalry between them.
What can parents do?
The specialists in child psychology believe that equal treatment between siblings is the simplest and most efficient method by which you can maintain harmony between children. Each parent must show love and care for children equally, regardless of whether one is suffering from ADHD or another illness. Everyone deserves to be loved, treated and cared for in the same way.
Holding serious, broad and constructive discussions with healthy siblings on the topic of ADHD is extremely necessary. It is very important for them to be informed about the illness their brother is suffering from, with what he supposes, how he manifests himself and what care he needs. Only this way, the other siblings will understand why the child with ADHD gets a little more attention from you. For example, they will understand why they need help in dressing, eating, doing homework or other basic activities or what is the reason for being cool with them and not paying attention to them.
Communication is essential in such situations and contributes to improving the relationship between the brothers. Treat everyone as much as possible. It is true that you cannot impose the same rules and limits on all children, but it is not recommended to make major differences in the way you treat them.
Even though the attention-deficit chick has a different set of rules than the other brothers, it does not mean that he should be forgiven more easily or that his mistakes can be more easily overlooked. It is not advisable to have higher demands from healthy children and to punish them quickly when they are wrong, but to overlook the mistakes and annoyances of the sick child. Treat them equally, depending on the system of rules and penalties you set for each of them.
It is important for the sick child's siblings to see that he or she is not receiving preferential treatment or, on the contrary, that they are more easily placed on the wall, just because they are not sick, like their brother. The siblings will begin to see an advantage in the illness in front of their parents.
The child with ADHD will either take advantage of his condition to impose himself in front of you, or he will have the impression that he is treated preferentially or with mercy, just because he is ill, which will frustrate him and his complexion very hard.
An effective way to strengthen the relationship between children, despite their differences, is to involve healthy siblings in caring for the child with ADHD. Encourage children to spend more time in his company, play and communicate with him.
Have you met families with children with ADHD? How did they manage to maintain harmony between the brothers and help them understand each other? Tell us your tips in the comments section below!
Tags Adhd children