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Choosing playmates

Choosing playmates

At this age, your child may still play with other children more than with other children.
But maybe you even want to give him playmates, partly to help him develop his social skills and partly to relax you (it can be very nice to spend time with the parents of his playmates).
Here are some tips that will help you minimize quarrels, beats and tears between your playmates.
Establishing "play sessions" - Test your child's preferences
Find out which of the children is better at kindergarten or ask who would like to invite you home, if it is large enough to express their preferences.


It should look great if you invite a parent you like to spend time with. Remember that the two children do not have to be the same age.
In fact, there are several benefits if they are of different ages. The older child will lead the game by directing the smaller child and will be delighted to be the "older child".
The play should not last too long
One hour is enough for the first visit and 2 hours for the children who have already become friends. If it lasts longer, the children get bored, tired and become irritable.
Be careful what food you choose
You must give the partners to play snacks; make sure you ask parent guests about food allergies and their children's sensitivities - or what culinary preferences their children have. Knowing the preferences of a child beforehand, you will feel every time.
Meeting preparation - Hide your child's favorite toys
At this age, children frequently play with toys. You can teach him that he has to share until you change your face, but it is too much to expect from your child to be generous.
If your child has some favorite toys that you know he / she hates to share, help him / her hide them before his / her friends arrive.
Then he prepares a few games that involve collaboration (blocks and fake money are two very good choices), but also some toys that he doesn't mind sharing. (But do not be surprised if you suddenly try to claim a toy that until now was not interested just because another child likes it.
Try to free him from the fear that his play buddies will take toys with them home by telling him this constantly.

Children's play and parents' intervention

Enter breaks
Besides snacks, it is a good idea to have a quiet activity at hand if the children become too absorbed in the game. Specialists suggest reading a book with them or leaving the house a little.
Protocol - Help them relate
If you want the meeting to go smoothly, help the children interact. You can do this by proposing a game or by giving them some toys to play with (such as a toy train).
As soon as the children begin to play easily, get involved in their game.
If you end up playing alone and not with each other, do not strive to remedy this - in the following year, this tendency will change.


And although it does not seem to be the case, children also benefit if they simply look at each other as they play.
Cleaning after the game
Encourage children to pick up toys at the end of one game before moving on to the next. (Of course, the smaller they are, the more you will have to help them.)
If you wait until the end of the meeting to get clean, you will end up facing a much bigger mess. (If the children do not cooperate, tell them "We are ready for a snack - but before you have to squeeze the toys")
Give them options to make the game more interesting

Some suggestions:

  • prepares an impromptu play table;

  • fill a pool with water and let the children play with the water (don't leave them alone for a moment - even a few centimeters of water is a danger to them);

  • offer them paper and pencils;

  • Give the children two or three options and let them move from one activity to another (or even create their own games) as they are increasingly absorbed in play.

Be available all the time

Young children need help establishing and maintaining interaction between them, so don't expect them to sit back and relax while the meeting takes place.

You have to be constant - though you don't have to bother - observe and possibly encourage them.

Conflict resolution

Let the children solve their problems by themselves. Even if you have to pay attention to everything the children do while playing, do not intervene at the first sign of trouble.

Minor misunderstandings usually take a long time and if you wait you'll see that children often solve them on their own.

End of the game

I rarely intervene, but be firm
If a conflict ends with aggression, it is time to intervene. Separate the children quickly and talk to the child who is aggressive about what he has done.
Tell her that you understand her feelings of anger, but that it is not okay to hurt someone else. Ask him if he is ready to play nice, and when he is, let him come back to the game.
If the battle continues, separate the children for a short time or introduce a new activity that you believe will not cause a conflict.
Praise and
One way to minimize negative behavior is to constantly recognize good behavior. Phrases like "Wow, it was so nice of you to let Razvan play with your favorite train! This made him very happy!" They will encourage children to continue to behave beautifully.


How do you say "goodbye"
As the end of the meeting approaches, remind the children that their time together is over. ("Five more minutes, kids. It's time to finish the game.")
If the meeting was a success, before the guests leave, it emphasizes how well they felt during their time together and how well they will have fun at the next meeting. "You two built the block so well together. Do you want to play something else next time?"
Send a reminder home
If during the meeting the children created something (drawings, cakes), give the guests the creation to take it home. If not, take a picture of them and give them as a party gift.
Children are most often excited to share these treasures with their parents so this helps them to leave without causing any problems.
I lead the guests
Some parents find it easier to separate their children if at the end of the meeting everyone is leaving the house.
If possible, consider the option of driving your guests home, then make this journey seem like an adventure: Have the children walk up to their shoes to see which of them gets first and talk about how much beautiful you will see on the way.
You may discover that it is easier for children to split up at home with your guests.

Tags Play children Friends children