He's the perfect man! Besides the fact that he looks very good he has a very developed sense of humor. But there is only one problem: your long-term plans include decorating a children's room, and he doesn't even want to think about bringing a child into the world.
Whether it's your 2-year-old friend or your 10-year-old husband, or you're just thinking of starting a family or you already have 3 children, the fact that you're dreaming and just waiting to have a baby, and your partner sees a nightmare in it it can turn life backwards. Before giving up on your dream or that of your partner, consider a few tips that can help you reach an understanding.
A woman who eagerly wants to have children must know before her marriage her husband's opinion on this.
And if he wants children, you should also talk about their number.
And this is not all. Ideally, you should find the right time from the point of view of your partner to have children. This is because there are cases where, although both partners want their children, they do not agree on the right time for the babies to come into the world. You may want a child right after marriage, and this may not be the right time for you. Through determination and communication, many women manage to reach their goal. However, not all of them are as lucky.
You have every chance that the subject "pregnancy" will become a kind of test for the man you want to spend your life with.
The maternal desire to have more children cannot simply disappear, and if the partners have desires that do not correspond to the children, one of them will have to make a sacrifice at some point. However, don't be too sure that he will make this compromise.
Following counseling sessions could help you identify which side to make the sacrifice and make the best decision. A man must first of all know and understand the reasons why a wife wants a child or another child.
Most of the times, the counselor specialist guides the couples in such situations to focus more on each other for a period, ignoring the desire to conceive or not. When the two partners get to know each other and understand each other well enough, bringing a child into the world becomes a common wish, as well as both of them can end up wishing to remain a family of only two members. .
Defeat your partner's fears
Men have some common fears about the idea of establishing a family. Here are some of the replies of men when it comes to children and how you can try to reach a common point!
I'm too young to stick my head out! I want to have fun!
How old is? Maybe he's too young. Or maybe you're both. Think about whether he is right and if you do not try to hurry him for nothing. If you really think the time is coming when you can no longer conceive a child and now is the most appropriate time, try to explain it to him very calmly.
Men can have children even at the age of 70, so it is very likely that his biological clock will not say the same things as yours. Remind them that as you get older, it will be increasingly difficult to conceive a baby.
I'm too old! I don't want to be looked at as a grandfather!
It points to the advantages of being a more mature parent. Reassure him that little ones don't care how old their dad is, as long as they are loved. You don't have to be 25 years old to push a swing or read a story before bed. Older dads are often wiser and more patient with their children, which is far more important than the ability to run a marathon with them.
My friends kind of scared me with stories about their children!
New dads love to scare their friends with unpleasant stories about children. Sleepless nights, endless crying and lack of sex are quite true, but they won't last forever. However, he will not believe the word, so try to appeal to the same friends who terrify him with stories.
Ask them to stop with horror stories and show them some pictures with their little ones. Pictures of dads with children in their arms are very cute and it is impossible not to impress him.
I'm not ready, don't call me!
Tell him you know it's not an easy decision, and you don't want to rush him, but at least tell him when he thinks he'll be ready, otherwise you'll think he's just trying to trick you. As for the buzz ... it's about right. You will not solve anything by this.
It is not necessary to drive him crazy with the idea that you want a child. So, now that you've told her your thoughts, promise her that you won't open this discussion for a few months. Instead, he has to promise you that once the deadline will discuss this topic with you.
I am happy as we are now! I don't want to be forced to share you ...
Convince him that you love him as much, but the presence of a child will make you much happier and bring you both joy. Try to understand his point of view. A child brings major changes in a family that may prove difficult at first.
He is probably scared that you will be so worried about the child that you will completely forget about him. Make him understand that although the little one will keep you busy, he will not make you love him less.
We can not afford! Raising a child costs a fortune and we are already tight with money!
If you do not give him justice now and you will not talk to him, he will think that the idea of becoming a mother made you lose your reason. Instead of telling him that it won't cost that much in the end, you'd better go for the option: "I thought about it too, but I think we could do it."
It would be good to then explain to them how you can handle it without getting into debt. If he notices that you really did your homework seriously, he will take you more seriously.
I already have children, I don't want to!
If he already has children from another relationship and he told you from the beginning that he doesn't want others, you can't do many things. You can explain to him that you would very much like to have a child together, but it does not insist much.
His children from the previous relationship are certainly not blood in your blood, but you play a very important role in their lives. Step-children can bring as much joy to a mother, but if you always want a baby that really is yours, it won't work.
I changed my mind. What's so wrong with this?
We all have the right to change our mind and you have the right to be totally demoralized when you find out that he no longer wants children, after initially having the same plans as you. It would be best to be honest and tell him exactly what you feel about his attitude.
If you cannot accept his decision and you do not see yourself living without your own children, your relationship may be at an end. Make sure that when you make this decision it is not too late to start a family with another man.
Have you encountered this problem with your partner? What methods have you adopted? We look forward to your comments in the comments section below!
On the same topic:
When one of the partners wants a child, but the other does not
What do you do when the man next to you is not ready to become a father
When is the right time to become a dad
Fear of becoming a dad
How your life changes when you become a father
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