I rest my hands on my round belly and listen to the beats of my heart that overwhelm the cabinet deformed by darkness. The door opens from time to time with a question slipping into the sill, but my doctor does not take his eyes off the screen. He seems pleased. Especially since today the baby accepts to be laid in shades of gray.
After a few measurements, the conclusions are printed and meticulously placed in the medical file. As the white light spreads through the cabinet again, the acrobatics restart under the touch of my palms.
"That's the boys" - I'm amused by the doctor.
The years spent in the office bring with them personal statistics for each doctor. Sometimes these are shared encouragingly with the little ones.
Before leaving the office, he warns me pleasantly "after you are born not to be surprised if your husband will be closer to the first child. It is natural and beneficial."
How does the father's relationship with the first child change, after the second child is born?
The doctor tells me from experience that the arrival of the second child leads, in most cases, to a bigger one attachment of the father of the first child. At least in the first few months. Either because it is necessary to spend more time with the older child, while the mother sleeps / breastfeeds the new income, or because of the ease in communication with a child who already has several anisors.
I am delighted by my doctor's statistics and he puts new smiles on my face. I am calm. I have inexhaustible reserves of joy because the connection between my daughter and her father is so wonderful. And if the baby that I expected on a fall fruit will further beautify the father-daughter relationship, I have nothing left but to pamper myself with everything that comes from motherhood.
Does it matter if the first born is a girl or a boy?
I begin to think that some old words even had a plausible source from which they were born. I have heard of "father's face" and "mother's boy". It seems that in my family these terms are valid. And so they will remain in our house for as long as they can smell as a child.
I remember, in the early years, the joy that Mary had when her father came home was so great that it made me envious of their relationship. It was normal, however, that after eight hours spent in my area, she would like to change her voice in her decor.
Now, however, whenever I see them holding hands and making confessions, in front of me the figure of a confident girl who had the opportunity to grow up with a strong father takes shape.
What happens when the first born is a boy? I would dare to guess that the scenario is about the same: the father's connection with the first child is strengthened when the mother's arms accommodate the new-entrant's scanners, regardless of the child's gender. If the father manages to remain an active and present parent, the joy of collecting memories in two it should fill the mother's absence when she is in her fourth trimester of pregnancy.
Is it a form of consolation?
Probably both the father and the first born complement each other emotionally when the mother is claimed by her younger brother. I think it's a beneficial transition console.
The reunion of all members occurs gradually in months, as the new family dynamics include new laughter, longer dialogues and bigger hugs. We still have a long way to go, so we set our steps one by one.
What experiences have you had? How did family relationships change when a new baby appeared?
Catinca is a mom, blogger and pharmacist and writes stories about her castle on catincavlad.ro. You can find it Facebook Catinca Vlad.
Tags Relationship father to father Relationship father to daughter