I have days when I would give a kingdom for a lonely moment. Me and myself. Please ... there are days when not even me can stand. I would retire to the bathroom, the only door in the house that I can lock ... or in the garage. There even nobody is looking for me.
Although there are cats here too. And they want something from me: beans or mangoes. But there are days when the mangoes I can offer are limited. Or worse, I'm out of stock. Nothing. Zero. Nada.
There are days when I remember what it was like before children. Quiet. I could hear my thoughts. Now I don't hear them anymore. In the evening, when they sleep and try to talk to me ... I fall asleep. About the second break in advertising from any movie, I'm already taken away.
Loneliness, intimacy? What are these?
I have days when I miss being called "Dana!" and not "mommy!" "Mommy!" comes to the pack with an answer, a problem or a crisis, a medicine for sore throat or a toy repair. "Berth!" instead it doesn't force me to do anything. I answer if I want to, if I like it, if I have nothing else to do. Ignorance is a bless, believe me.
I have days when I would like to hide. Because of fatigue, a busy day at the office, a lack of calcium, atmospheric pressure, ... anything. Nobody can find me, not even me. Don't ask me anything, don't ask me anything, don't think about anything. Blank. Poison sheet. Often I struggle with the state of sleepiness and the desire to stay awake because I have things to discuss with me. In most cases, snoring wins.
A friend once told me, "I know how you feel. And when I come home, my dog stays with me until I go to sleep." "Yes, yes, but your dog doesn't call you 1476 times mommy-mommy-mommy."
My hobby has become a time hunter for me. Some make puzzles, others collect stamps. I collect moments of loneliness. I have no time for my thoughts. And I miss them so much. Don't you?
danaionescu.ro - Some things are so serious that we have to laugh at them!
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